An Apology Letter You Owe Me

Dear Love,

Talking to you right now would really be difficult, okay? So starting off with an ellipsis might seem like cutting you loose but I want to make sure I do this right so you’ll have to put up with me while I get my words together. The truth is, I owe you an apology. I am writing this from the night we called it off, right from the moment I sent to you my last text message. Right now, you’re probably—no, you’re crying your heart out over me and believe me or not, letting you go wasn’t an easy decision to make but I know it was the very last thing I must suffice to free you from all the pain and agony.

I know ‘you deserve someone better’ is most likely the lamest, oldest, unreasonable and pointless alibi you’ve ever heard from all the other people who have left you before but it’s better to leave you this way, because in some point it’s true. You deserve someone better, love. You deserve someone who’s ready to be there for you, like always. You deserve someone who’ll support you reach your goals in life. You deserve someone who’ll lend you a hand whenever you needed help. You deserve someone who’ll love you at your best and at your worst self. You deserve someone who’s willing to do these things for you to be happy; because you deserve to be happy, truly happy.

Remember how young we still are, we’re both 16 and we don’t know what the future can bring us. I saw how you wanted to fulfill your dreams so much you were one of the motivated and goal oriented women I knew; one of the best. And everyday I’m thankful because of you, I learned how to love and felt being loved at the same time. I can’t tell you the truth why I had to go because right now, I still don’t have the answers. I might’ve fell out of love somewhere during our relationship but I don’t want you to feel bad about yourself, or even think that you’re not good enough. You are beautiful and more than worth it. The problem wasn’t you; it was me, my Love. I was a coward; I was terrified of commitments and doubtful of my choices. I never knew when I was ready. I got scared that you were so sure about everything you felt for me. I didn’t know how to act, considering we’re about to study in two different universities. Maybe I just didn’t recognize the feelings I’d get knowing we’ll get to see each other so hardly ever. I didn’t know how to be loyal just yet. I didn’t know if I can stay, I wasn’t ready.

I’m sorry. I’m really sorry I had to do this. If it ever takes you so long to forget me, I would give you the time. If the pain I caused you becomes too hard to even handle anymore, I’m sorry I can’t be there to lessen the burden. I’m sorry I failed you, I broke every rule and promise we made. I’m sorry I disappointed you, made you expect for something much deeper. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to give you the future you’ve been dreaming with me. I can’t promise you anything right now, my Love. I don’t know when you’ll be mine again, I don’t know if it will ever happen.

But for now, I had to end things between us. Sorry.

Sincerely, Your Worst Mistake

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