To The One Who Used To Be My Happy Pill

Happy 18th Birthday, Babs! Yeah, remember that name? We used to call each other that way. Guess, it’s something to remember no matter how cliché we were back then. Time may have passed but I can still recall those moments where I felt that what we had was something worth looking back, or so I thought. We had something special and it’s fine if you’d deny it. But it’s your birthday; it’s such an embarrassment talking about myself. So let’s talk about you? What’s going on with your life? Have you been performing well in school? Did you gain weight? Or maybe lose even more because of all the stress; I know there must have a lot going on at the moment. It’s sad that I cannot talk to you anymore because I know you’d ignore my messages. Because of what happened, right? But man, it’s been two years. Hell, it’s been 2 years and I’m still stuck in here. But hey, give a chance (again) to greet you. I’m just going to greet you. Let’s begin this letter by saying thank you, thank you for all the times you made me incredibly happy, for appreciating someone like me. I would never even thought for a second that someone would appreciate me. Hell, I’m a mess. But with you, I was a beautiful mess. You’d always call me pretty I was almost convinced it was my name. Was. What a stupid word. Though, what’s been going on with my mind right now, yes up until now, is that I only hope that you have also felt what I’ve felt about us; that it was real.  What we had was real. I thought we’re in the same page in which we can be happy for each other. But hey I’m happy for you. Confused already? Me too. Should I ask for forgiveness? Yes, maybe. Because even if I didn’t hurt you the same way you did to me, it must’ve been really hard for you to get along with a person like me. Sorry, for causing you pain. I don’t even know how to end this. Some words are meant not to be told anymore but I’m sensing you know what I mean and if not then maybe we really don’t understand each other anymore. 2 years, get a life, self. So, Happy Birthday, T! I’m still here and I don’t know why.

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