Breathe – He Is We

​I never dreamt of taking all the credit that’s for me because I know to whom the credit is due. But it sometimes sucks having the need to be great, no, to be the best. Sometimes I wished I had a different family name then, only then my professors would never compare me with my father. I think it’s only unfair that they’re seeing me through my father. If I did well at exams, they’d tell me “Kaya ka naman pala magaling kasi tatay mo siya”. And if I failed they’d say “Para kang hindi tatay mo. Ang galing galing kaya ng tatay mo”. I’m tired, exhausted, and I just want to lay down every day. I just want to rest like I’ve been working all day. Because honestly, it’s been hell having to hear these comments. Lately I’ve been accepting, accepting, accepting, accepting and accepting more disapproval from my professors, from most people. Why can’t I be different with my parents? It’s like every waking day of my life; I have to prove them wrong. Sometimes I wished I wasn’t even born at all for always disappointing my parents. I don’t want to be somebody else’s daughter because I feel lucky to have them as my parents but I keep on becoming a burden to them and I don’t want that. They aren’t even seeing how I’m struggling everyday having to face my professors with so much expectation ahead of me. Maybe that’s one of the many reasons I didn’t even consider studying in PUP. I just didn’t want to be comparing to them. Is that too much to ask?

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