The Ship That Won’t Ever Sail

I want to write something about you. Yes, I just decided I want to write something about you. I don’t know why. Maybe not about you exactly. Might just be something about how you keep on making me feel excited every time you’d want to talk to me. Or maybe it’s just concerning about something you said to me three weeks ago that I don’t know why I still remember.  I’m not sure actually, I sense it’s about you keeping me up all night thinking whatever happened spending the whole day with you and the gang. But mostly, it was all about spending the whole day with you. Do you get me now? Are you as confused as I am right now?

You’ll probably just laugh at me right now. I’m guessing that if I tell you the truth you’ll just say I’m kidding and believe me, no matter how hard I try for you to notice you’ll never understand me. Sometimes I wished you knew but I’m glad you didn’t.

I wanted so bad to drop clues or maybe show you hints but I was always terrified. I didn’t what to know the outcome. I never wanted. I’d love to stay where we are now. I don’t want you to stop looking after me nor considering my own wellbeing before anyone else. I really appreciate those things that I’m being selfish to you sometimes. I don’t want to be that person. I’m not even sure if you’re treating others just the same. I don’t know how long I can hold on to something we have but I don’t want to ruin this. Why would I ever dream of ruining something that actually works? That’s why I’m telling myself to stop. I need to stop, don’t I?

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